Selectivity
Humans do not seem to mate randomly; they select their sexual partner from a very innate criterion. Women tend to be significantly more selective than men. One reason for this is that sex for women is potentially more costly on many levels than for men. Basic biology pushes women to be more selective, but culture can glorify promiscuous men in a positive manner and promiscuous women in a negative manner. Thus women may also be more selective because of their reputational costs. When selecting a long term partner for a monogamous partnership men and women selectivity tends to equalize. Humans are selective to who reproduce with in a quest to perpetuate existence of humanity.
Attraction
Many factors go into choosing a mate, but none more important than attraction. The feeling of attraction can be driven by three factors, situation, physical appearance, and psychological. Proximity increases familiarity, people prefer novel stimuli. Physical factors such as body shape, symmetry, and age are the biggest physical factors that influence the feeling of attraction. Physical appearance may determine who draws our attention, but people quickly move beyond appearance and onto psychological attraction. People’s inner qualities such as personalities, points of view, attitudes, beliefs, values, ambitions, and abilities sustain attractions toward each other. People tend to be attraction to others that have similar qualities, extraordinary can threaten our self-esteem. There are many factors that come in to play when trying to determine what attracts us to others.
Relationships
Selecting and attracting a mate is a prerequisite for reproduction. Ordinarily child rearing is done under the context of a committed, long term, romantic relationship, such as a marriage. On a very innate level, human children are helpless creature that require many years of intense care. Humans do their reproducing under the context of marriage because they understand that child rearing is a long intensive process. Most people in modern society say that they will not marry without love. The vast majority say they would sacrifice their own life goals to attain in. Psychologists have differentiated the two types of love that perpetuate long term relationships. The first love is passionate love which includes feelings of euphoria, intimacy, and intense sexual attraction. Psychologists have found that successful marriages include compassionate love, which is an experience involving affection, trust, and concern for the partner’s well-being. Passionate love is what brings people together; compassionate love is what keeps them together.
References:
Schacter, Gilbert, & Wegner (2011) Introducing Psychology: First edition. Social Psychology. New York: 41 Madison Avenue
Schacter, Gilbert, & Wegner (2011) Introducing Psychology: First edition. Social Psychology. New York: 41 Madison Avenue